The greatest gift a parent can give their child or children is to help them to “own themselves” by making them become self-confident and self-reliant on their own lives. This is the greatest gift you can give your child, by making them become in self-control of their own minds.
But for the parents who don’t own themselves too, this is impossible, because they want to control, make decisions for their child or children from homes, to careers, to jobs, to schools, into marriage, or into heaven or hell if they is such, simply because parents do to their children what is and was done upon them too; for example most parents are not in full control of their own lives, they are also controlled by their employers or company, government, family, religion, etc; so they too, end up doing the same to their own children too, as mentioned above.
Maybe parents are afraid and worried that their children will make wrong decision for their lives; but this is still a wrong decision parents continual making because this has continued to cause what I call child-parent dependence to parent-child dependence.
NOTE: “Better a child make their own life-decision and turns out to be wrong for a good lesson to learn from than a parent make a life-decision for their child then turns out wrong, and then they blame it or their life-time on their parents. This becomes worse when they even get into school, because school just makes decisions for students through just giving instructions to follow and obey, and students just follow and obey instruction instead of questioning what is being followed if it’s worth or unworthy for their lifetime”
This baby-parent decision dependence is the TYPE of conditioning that has made many people get into employment and depend on their employers, jobs, and government to take care of them and make lifetime decisions for them; they simply get used to it earlier in their lives, and that gets normal when in reality that’s abnormal and the riskiest in the long run of a person’s lifetime.
By vice versa majority of parents too in their grown up years turn to dependent on their children to take care of them. Moreover, dependency is slavery by mutual agreement.
It’s this uncut umbilical-cold of baby-parent dependence that causes many people to do little or no thinking at all, and children let their parents make decision for them to enter into careers, jobs, and marriages that people don’t even enjoy and love each other at all, but just because of one problem that still many people have not noticed; thinking and making decisions for your children instead of your children thinking and making decision for their own life-time for themselves when they are capable of. In fact parents who do this are also liabilities to themselves.
If you want your children to grow up independent and successful, teach them to think for themselves, let them think for themselves, let them make their own life decision even though they make mistakes, they will be able to accept them because they caused them themselves by their own thinking than you as a parent thinking and making decisions for them, and when something goes wrong they end up blaming you for those mistakes, and this is a hard way to learn from those mistakes.
Harvard University did a study and came up with 2 qualities that raise happy health kids and powerful business team and sales team;
- Democratic Environment: An environment where every child and people are able to express their full opinions, ideas, talents and genius.
- Climate of Positive Expectations: An environment where everyone is expected to succeed and encouraged to succeed, and encouraged to learn from their mistakes.
The greatest gift a parent can give their children is to help them to ‘own themselves’ by making them to become self-confident and self-reliant on their own lives. Your children have their own mind, so mind your own mind and let them mind their own mind. The best thing you can do as a parent is to support them and teach them to learn from their mistakes when they occur. Make them value their own opinions about their own lives, not valuing your opinions for own their lives.
If you want your children to be independent from you and dependent on themselves, give them as much responsibility as they can handle at any time and age within their periodic stage. As said, the greatest gift any parent can give their children is to help them ‘own themselves’ by making them become self-reliant on themselves. Self-reliant – means self-responsibility for your own thoughts, attitude and actions.
“It is not what you leave for your children; it’s what you leave in them”
If you don’t give or you take away from your children their own ‘birth right responsibility’, you will always face what Steve Keating said, “If you solve all of your kids problems, your kids will always have problems to solve”. I add on too; “If you solve all your kid’s problems, you will always have your kid’s problems to solve”. Train your kids to solve their own problems, come in when it’s beyond their capacity; but the point is every problem a child makes is within their capacity to solve it.